Parent Teacher Conferences, American Idol Style
I’ll admit it: I love American Idol. I’m not normally a fan of reality TV or the American Idol derivatives, but there is something about AI that captivates me. (Prediction: Danny Gokey is going to be the Season 8 winner. Take it to the bank!) For the record, I also tend to like things that fall into the “So bad it’s good” category: Coyote Ugly, Bring It On!, and the new Knight Rider.
Besides the inherent comic value of the auditions, one of the things I find fascinating about Idol is the judges. More specifically, I find the critique by the judges and the response of the contestants to be totally intriguing. Paula will always say something good about a contestant, even if it has nothing to do with the actual competition, and rarely offers any concrete advice. Simon is brutally honest, acidic and stingy with his praise. Randy is exuberant (“We got a HOT one tonight dawg!”) and truthful (“It was just okay for me.”) but never in a mean-spirited way. (I’m leaving out the new judge Cara because I haven’t figured her out yet. Why is she there?What does she add? I’m perplexed.)
Who do contestants try their hardest to please? Simon. Who do contestants listen to? Simon. As a teacher, who would you want to emulate at your next Parent Teacher Conference night?
Most of the time, I think teachers (all teachers!) are Paula. We feel the need to say something nice. We are all experts at speaking Teacher when we have to, of saying the hard things in a diplomatic and non-threatening way.
Every one of us (okay, maybe just me) dreams of being Simon, if only once. Oh, to say the things that are running through my head in an unedited (but safe for TV) manner would be cathartic! Brutal honesty would suit me, but would it be helpful?
Randy is my Idol when it comes to PTCs. Celebrate the good, acknowledge the bad and give some advice on how to get better. Now, if I can only get away with calling all my parents ‘dawg’…
Who is your PTC Idol?
Relatedly, what do you like that is so bad that it’s good???
Awesome Post Hamada,
I too would love to be Simon, but I hate to say I think I usually fall towards Paula. Ouch.
Except for the times when she totally loses the plot (which can be quite often I’m afraid), I think Paula is probably my #2 choice in the group. As much as I can appreciate his honesty, Simon as a teacher would just come off mean and crotchety. I mean, would you have wanted him as your teacher in high school?
Okay, honestly, honestly, I do think I embody Randy when it comes to my comments on students’ work. I disagree with your assertation that all teachers are Paula! I do always say something positive, so I guess there is *a bit* of Paula in me. But when it’s bad, I’m honest. And I never say, “It sucked but wow you look so cute in that outfit.” However, I will say that some of the toughest teachers I had, those who were more like Simon, were some of the teachers I learned the most from. I could never bring myself to be as ruthlessly honest as him, but there are times when sometimes, ya need ta hear it.
@MsMichetti, I’m not asserting that all teachers are like Paula all of the time, mind you. And I’m not necessarily talking about our interactions with students. I’m talking about talking to parents. I know I certainly strive to say something anything nice about a student no matter how dire the big picture, even if that one nice thing isn’t totally related to what has been going on in class. And can you imagine gettin’ Simon with some parents? “Your child’s performance has been absolute rubbish this past quarter. S/he may as well not even shown up.” While it may be true, that is one invitation to the Principal’s office I’ll decline in advance, thank you very much!
Ahhh yeah I see your point. I definitely do not “get all Simon” with parents! But there are times when I would like to. And there are times when although my surface speech is Paula or Randy, the subtext is Simon.
Nice post! Yes – I think that all of us have had parent conferences where we have been thinking Simon but verbalizing Paula or Randy. And this whole reading between the lines and sugar coating things for parents is further exacerbated by the fact that many of the parents I’m meeting are non-native English speakers who don’t get the subtext.
This has implications for me as a parent, too. When my daughter’s teachers talk about her being articulate and a good communicator, do they actually mean she can’t shut up in class? Or my son’s teacher (who has the patience of a saint), when he comments on his independent spirit, does he actually mean he can’t get him to join in circle time?
Nadine
@msmichetti @Nadine: Ah, the subtext. Now this should be a semester long course in any teacher education program: “How to say how you really feel without hurting anybody’s feelings”. It’s second semester companion, of course, would be “How to write report comments: saying everything and nothing simultaneously”.
Then again, maybe the whole reason why teachers are masters of subtext and subtlety is because we don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or make any parents angry. We are too busy being Paul and wishing we could be Simon when what we should focus on is being (like) Randy.
Oh, and I too fear for the day when I’m sitting in a conference with my children’s teachers and I hear those familiar phrases about my little angels…
Hello Clint. Loved your post. Like Nadine I am just beginning life as a blogger and found your blog through Nadine’s. Your comment about hearing those familiar phrases has already come true for me. Thing is, teachers have to be way moresercareful when they are talking to parents who are teachers. The old adages are just see through, twee and patronising. You have to feel for the poor dears who are trying so hard to be tactful but realise that you are likely to see through the bull. But really, ever child we teach is someone’s baby and diplomacy is a skill us teachers have to learn. Doses of straight talk have to be carefully measured. Guess I’m a Paula!
Love to Mel!
BY the way Mr [redacted] – the day after day 1- there was definitely some Simon in there for one student who is on academic probation- from me- maybe I’m not Paula afterall in PTC’s!?
@Wendy – Welcome to the (edu)blogosphere! It’s a bit like international school teaching: a bit daunting at first but really a small community once you get immersed in it.
The problem with being a Paula is that she never says anything of substance (and she’s spaced out most of the time, and she claps funny). She’s nice, for sure, but is she helpful?
Certainly teachers need to remain diplomatic and professional but at times straight talk is exactly what people need to hear. To continue with the American Idol analogy, how many terrible singers walk into the audition thinking that they can sing simply because their friends and family have never given them that ‘straight talk’ that they needed? Parents need to be given the complete picture – warts and all – in an empathetic manner. Once again, Randy Jackson is the man.